Save a Little, Splurge a Little: Lessons in Grown-Up Travel

The other day my mother shared a potential travel itinerary with me for a trip to Tobago that she and my stepdad are considering for the holidays.

When I looked at it, my first thought was, “No wonder she doesn’t like to get on planes.”

She found two possible itineraries to get from New York City to Tobago. One would have her on a plane at 7 a.m. and to her destination eight hours later. The other left in the afternoon. It meant an overnight in Trinidad, and would get her to Tobago more than 24 hours after leaving New York. She chose the latter—and she indicated that she planned to spend the overnight in the airport.

She has time, flexibility in her schedule, has planned well (financially) for retirement. So why would she choose to travel at one of the busiest times of the year and choose a more grueling itinerary than necessary? And what made her choose Tobago, when there are easier places to get to?

I know her, so I also know some of her quirks.

When it comes to travel, my mother is used to roughing it. There were no hotels on our summer bicycle trips. There were tents. There were campgrounds. Or sometimes just fields. Or parks. Or yards. On our trip through Great Britain when I was twelve, it rained for three and a half of the five weeks we were biking. Still, we camped. We put up our tents in the rain, ate in the rain, woke up in the rain, packed our panniers in the rain, biked in the rain, and did it all over again. And again.

When she decided to retire early and travel the world, she did it in a very slow and economical way. She and my stepfather sold the house and car, bought a sailboat, and spent the next 20 years—twenty!—sailing around the world. (Sailing around the world can be done in many ways, depending on how much money you have and/or are willing to part with. They didn’t have to stop and work in order to continue their trip, like some people. But they didn’t have a particularly large or fancy vessel—or a crew—like others. They stretched their dollars.)

As part of their budget, they offered each of us kids $500 a year to visit them. I used that money (often saving it up over multiple years) to visit them in Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia, and South Africa. I only got to see them every two to three years, but the experiences were memorable and deeply appreciated. Especially since they rarely returned to the U.S.

When they eventually sold their boat (about a decade ago) and bought a house, I was shocked that—in my mother’s mind—her travel days were over. She hates to fly. “All the waiting,” she says.

Mom doesn’t like to spend money on a hotel or get up early. With those priorities top of mind, she’d rather choose the longer, less comfortable itinerary. But she hasn’t experienced anything different.

I learned a lot from her, but maybe now she can learn a couple things from me.

I’d love to take her somewhere and show her a new way. I’d find a direct flight. I’d bring her to a lounge at the airport and get some snacks or a cocktail. I’d sit her down in a seat with (at least) extra legroom. I’d find a convenient and comfortable place to stay. I’d make plans for things she enjoys, without over-planning.

But would she let me?

The love for—and the importance of—travel was instilled in me by my parents. So was frugality, which I appreciate.

Over time, I’ve learned to do it differently. I balance cost, convenience, and overall happiness when it comes to travel. I can still enjoy roughing it. But I also don’t mind being pampered.

I sailed across one ocean with them (quite the adventure, which I will save for another time), but I’m not going to sail around the world on a 43’ catamaran , like they did. I like having a home base, where I can see my family and friends. I can’t retire—yet—but I love my work and it has flexibility. I am perfectly fine getting on a cruise for a week or two, with everything taken care of, rather than balancing in a galley to clean and cook a mahi mahi I just caught.

And I love a deal! A few years ago, I planned my first solo transatlantic cruise on Norwegian. I booked it less than a month before it happened, when I saw that I could get a balcony cabin for $450. But I don’t need a deal like that every time. Recently, one of my oldest friends booked a two week, roundtrip voyage on the Queen Mary 2. When I figured out that I could join her for $2,500 (plus a little extra for add-ons and gala night shopping), I booked that too. (Stay tuned. That one is coming up this fall.) Those experiences are very, very different. But I’m able to enjoy multiple ways of crossing an ocean.

Save a little, splurge a little. Travel as much as possible, paying attention to my time, my budget, and my priorities.

And when I’m home? Work hard. Spend time with friends. Take lots of pictures. Bake a whole lot of cookies. Crochet a bunch of blankets. Take a class here and there.

If you hang around, you’ll see a bit of it all around here.